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awkward-bertl:

Y’ALL DO REALIZE

THAT IF SAM WILSON BECOMES THE NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA

HE WILL LITERALLY BE

CAPTAIN FALCON

ocebutt:

dooptown:

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE

how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.

delladilly:

my roommate just got her period and came storming into the kitchen shouting THIS IS JUST NOT AN EFFICIENT REWARD SYSTEM FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.

psyducked:

such-a-retardis:

catswithbenefits:

why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me 

Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.

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herspanic:

I would betray all of you in the Hunger Games 

booksandwildthings:

interstellarmage:

i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,

KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE

i wonder what he’s up to these days.

Looks like Jim Kirk was born a few centuries early…


bombing:

noseblow:

bombing:

i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood

that’s not how the joke goes lmao

do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you

sixpenceee:

bandsandyoutuberswow:

sixpenceee:

What’s your opinion on using animals for science?

We have prisons full of child molesters so I don’t know why we continue to test on animals

I couldn’t have thought of a more perfect response